


Then we'll cut it off

by SamanthaxSecret



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, Cutting, M/M, suicide threat, the mark, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 14:45:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3212999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaxSecret/pseuds/SamanthaxSecret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam catches Dean trying to cut the mark off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then we'll cut it off

  
Dean woke up the next morning after he almost brutally murdered Metatron, feeling worse than he had after the morning before, after killing all those  _people._ He is losing it, and he knows it. Hes not just hurting people, killing people he is dreaming about it, craving every aspect of wanting to stick a blade into someone, or, something.   
  
Dean rubbed the mark aimlessly, he could feel the rough edge of the thick scar on his finger tips, this was the worse thing he could have ever done; deciding to take on the mark. He thought he could control it, oh how wrong he was.  
  
Dean is sick of the mark, sick of the way it made him feel, and all the things it made him do.  It was taking control of his life, more importantly his soul.   
The anger that was inside of him was spilling over faster than it had the first time. He could feel it in his blood now, turning left and right filling each vein as the anger raged on. He is starting to become dangerous, to himself, to Cas and more importantly to Sam. What if he hurts Sam, or worse kills him? He has to get rid of the mark, but how? There is no lore on it, he and Sam have been rummaging through books for months now. And nothing, zilch was coming up on how to cure it, not a spell, ritual, nothing. But there has to be something, Cain chanted a spell when he transferred it there must be a way to transfer it back. But Dean is running out of time, hes running out of patience, so he thought, 'I'll just cut it off.'  
Dean knew how reckless this was, how insane he must be in order to consider cutting something out of his skin. But he is desperate.  
Dean took down the knife he hung on his wall, and moved over to his sink.   
  
He tied off his arm in an old flannel, preparing himself to do the unthinkable.  Taking a deep breath he bit down on an old comb and began to cut away at his skin.   
He grunted, wanting so badly to scream out in pain but he knew if he did Sam would hear him. But oh God does it hurt. Feeling his flesh being sliced away, unsure of how deep he was actually going. He looked down at the pool of blood forming in the sink, dripping and rolling off of his forearm from under the flap of skin. There was so much fucking blood and he began seeing stars. The pain was too much, the blood he was losing was nauseating, but he can't back out now.   
  
He continued carving out the mark until finally  he reached the end. He picked off the skin and threw it in the sink. Spitting out the comb and dropping the blade he began to dizzily back up and onto his bed until he fell into it. He clutched at his arm, trying to stop the blood but there was no use, what the hell was he thinking.   
"Sam!" he called out, "Sammy!" He screamed as he tried to get onto his feet, but he was so goddamn dizzy. His heart sped up, and he began to panic. He could hear the muffled sounds of Sam's feet coming to his door but he blacked out before he could even reach it.  
  
Dean hit the hard cement floor with a thud just as Sam opened. Sam saw his brother, saw the blood, saw the skin cut out int he sink and his heart immediately dropped into the pit of his stomach.  
  
"Dean!" Sam shouted as he collapsed by bis brother's side, he cupped Dean's face and he groggily opened his eyes.  
  
"Sam." His voice was merely a whisper, "I fucked up." He looked up at his brother, he saw the fear in his eyes and it made him feel even worse for what he had done.  
  
"Hey, hey it's okay Dean. We'll patch you back up. It's okay."  
  
"No." Dean shook his head and Sam pulled Dean onto his lap.  
  
"You gotta let me go Sam. The mark, I'm not okay. I'm worse than before." He reached his hand up and cupped Sam's face smearing blood over it when he did.  
  
"Dean I don't understand." Sam said as his eyes started to well up.  
  
"You gotta let me die, and when I come back, you take that blade and kill me. You gotta kill me Sammy. I can't be that thing again. And I can't be this anymore."  
  
"No." Sam began to cry, "You know I can't do that Dean, you know I can't."  
  
"You gotta Sammy." Dean said giving him a comforting smile, "I'm gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay."  
  
"No Dean! I can't watch you die again and then kill you with my own hands." He was pleading now, and every tear that dripped from his face was landing on Dean's T shirt. "You didn't kill me when I started drinking demon blood, when I started to become that, that monster. You didn't kill me then. You can't expect me to kill you now."  
  
"Sam I can't control the mark anymore, I'm not strong enough." Dean's body began to shake and he started to choke,and  his eyes went wide. He is going into shock from loss of blood.  
  
"Dean!" Sam lifted him up so his head could rest against his chest. "No, no, no, no, no! " He began crying harder, screaming Castiel's name until he was blue in the face. Dean gripped the sides of Sam's flannel, choking and gasping for air.   
  
"Please, you have to hang on, Dean please!" He held his brother close, looking down at him, watching his eyes fade and his body start to go limp.  
  
Castiel reached the bunker and saw the state Dean was in, "You have to help him Cas, I can't lose my brother!"  
  
Sam didn't need to say anymore. He placed his hands on Dean's arm and healed him back to full health.  
  
He gasped and held onto Sam tighter as he coughed into his shirt. "Sammy." Dean panted against his frantic brother.  
  
"Dean you are so stupid, so goddamn stupid!" He cried as he kissed the top of his shaking brothers head. "Why would you say those things, why would you do that! We can fix this Dean, just have a little hope."  
  
Dean broke down in Sams arms, crying hard into his brothers chest he hadn't cried like this in years, all he kept saying was 'I'm sorry' over and over again.  
  
"Dean I love you. I love you so much. Why would you lose hope like this? Why would you do something so reckless."  
  
"I was just tired Sam. I was just so tired." He cried looking up to meet eyes with his brother.

"Dean you were asking me to kill you!" Sam cried, "God you're so stupid." He kissed him hard through their tears, "So, so stupid."  
  
"i'm sorry Sammy." Dean cried kissing his brother back.   
  
"Don't ever scare me like that again Dean." He kissed the side of his brother's face, not caring about the fact that they were covered in his blood. "You know we will figure it out, we just need the demon tablet."

"I know baby, I know." Dean hushed, "I just, I lost control. I was impatient."  
  
Sam kissed across his jaw, "Well if it happens again come to me, before it's too late." He lifted his head and looked Dean in the eyes. "Promise me you will.  
  
"I will, okay? I promise."  
  
Sam smiled and helped Dean to his feet, "Come on, let's get cleaned up." He said as he began to walk out, trying to gain composure, trying to be happy despite what had just happened  
  
"I'll be right out." Dean told him.   
  
Sam turned around and smiled, "Hurry up, water gets cold fast." He winked before heading down the hall, slowly breaking apart with each step. All he saw was his brother dying, and it scared the hell out of him. He's seen it happen hundreds of times,  but the effect will always be the same. That won't ever change.  
  
Dean looked over at the severed part of his skin and then down at the healed skin, the mark perfectly in place. He took a deep breath and headed after his brother, "It's never going to end Sammy" he mumbled.

 

 

 

 


End file.
